Awake with tears

Those who know me well
will know that
I'm desperate for family member's approbation..
I try really hard to do well,
I'd do anything to get their attention...

The biggest nightmare of mine
is usually related to them...
From what I can recall,
I had two of these nightmare...
The first one was told in the previous blog entry...
The second one,
I just had it...


That dream looks like an ordinary one...
I played, I laughed, I run...
The most terrified part
for me wasn't the appearance of monster
or whatsoever creature
but the moment when my mom told me that
she HATES me!!

I fell apart immediately....
(Of course that's in the dream)
I cry out loud and I asked her,
Why bring me to this world while you hate me so much?
She didn't answer...
She just keep hugging my bro and keep kissing his forehead....
I felt that I couldn't breathe...
I was gasping for air!!
And suddenly,
I'm back to reality...

There were tears rolling down my cheek...
After I opened my eyes,
I still can't stop the crying...
Apparently,
I was trapped in the memory of pass...
It's okay...
I won't wanna talk about the pass...
I know that the present is the most important thing....

My family members are the priceless treasure to me...
Nothing can compare with them...
Although sometimes we might have a little argument
but I still love them...

I was childish and
I did not know how to cherish them back then...
But the older I get,
the more I feel that they are the only one thing in the world
that I can't choose and replace...
It is true!!
I can't choose which family to be born at
BUT I can choose to love them!!
Right??
I know that I can't afford to lost any of them...

Please,
love your family with all your heart!! ♥
They will be your treasure for your whole life...